What's your API's "Time To 200"?


Scrap of JSON which doesn't say much.

M'colleague Charles has introduced me to the most spectacular phrase - "Time To 200". That's a measurement of the length of time it takes a new user to go from signing up to your API to getting their first HTTP 200 response. Think about the last time you started using a new API... Fill in […]

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Book Review: Notes from the Burning Age - Claire North


Book cover in flames.

Ven was once a holy man, a keeper of ancient archives. It was his duty to interpret archaic texts, sorting useful knowledge from the heretical ideas of the Burning Age – a time of excess and climate disaster. For in Ven’s world, such material must be closely guarded, so that the ills that led to […]

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Why do scammers love NameCheap?


Can of Spam. From https://www.flickr.com/photos/27308606@N04/3920588954/in/photolist-6Ys3vh-D4tFyP-5Nfafk-4YquSL-j76egA-b4ThXT-j71TQi-4C6NQo-4zGP8b-8jBWuu-9NZujn-4mZsmC-Skcx6h-6qY9vr-hNh67-5Hf4WS-mSRtT-718hHC-71HDFc-kCAL2L-2NYWTK-kCANQm-6eLuK-6cSS7G-vVZqB-79Z3X-dgu3-4sqgZw-8WuDpp-5FQ3yz-4nFSR8-563Gj-mb7gL-39uw1-5f1fho-2NiBSN-5pDMMS-8b9Hjq-pRrxLR-hfXfA-5xmaj-9vw9hx-o9bd3k-258kqqN-tuDnQ-8YeJPL-5hrex8-pFKpm-vSKr9b-39r59D

The UK is facing an epidemic of SMS fraud. Scammers know that we're all at home eagerly waiting for deliveries. So they send out phishing messages saying "Sorry we missed you" or "You need to pay a delivery fee". If you click on the link they send, you'll go to a very convincing website which […]

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What I learned from reading *all* my old tweets


A list of columns with Tweets in them.

Every so often, a celebrity is castigated over their "youthful indiscretions" i.e. racist Tweets they sent when they were a teenager. I don't think I've posted anything too horrific, but I wanted to check. I searched Twitter for a variety of slurs sent from my account - and all seemed clean. But... there's a lot […]

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Zotero Citations to Markdown Links via CSL


Zotero logo.

I use Zotero to manage my references. Instead of in-text citations of (Smith, 1984) - I want that to be hyperlinked to the academic paper referenced. For example ([Smith, 1984](https://doi.org/.....)) This is possible, if you're willing to hack around with CSL - the Citation Style Language. Here's a fragment of CSL that I've adapted from […]

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An underwhelming break in lockdown


A bottle of beer outside on a sunny day.

I don't often blog about my feelings. Mostly because I find them confusing. Three weeks after our first vaccination jab, my wife and I broke our lockdown to go on a date. In the last 15 months we've left the house a few times for doctor's appointments, a couple of visits to the post office, […]

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My Robot Vacuum Cleaner is Afraid of Sunshine


Cleaner in sunlight.

I have a cheap WiFi enabled vacuum cleaner. One morning, I barked "ALEXA! CLEAN THE HOUSE." The gynoid immediately responded with "Now playing songs by Crowded House." The future's ace, innit? So I opened the cleaner's app, hit a button, and heard the sound of a domestic-droid doing its thing. For two minutes. The app […]

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"Looks like I´m single again" Why can't Twitter deal with this spam?


Montage of several accounts, all posting the same media.

Twitter has never really solved its spam problem. It is a constant irritation that ordinary people get booted off the service for minor infractions, while large spam rings go unpunished. For the past few months, some of my old tweets have been getting liked by random women. I'm sure you've see something similar. The idea […]

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That's not my name! Making sensible decisions when asking for a user's title


Email which says "Hi Prefer not to say Eden."

Back in the good old days, when men were real men - and people like you knew their place - the world was simple. There were three titles to choose from: Mr, Mrs, and Miss. Perhaps also Dr if you were feeling fancy. But these fucking millennials with their "Ms" and "Mx" - amirite?!!? Anyway, […]

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if ( gender == "female" && married == True && age >=30 ) { hasChildren = True; }


Email promting parents to get their kids travel savvy.

Marketing really is crap. Recently, SE Railways sent this piece of email drivel to my wife: We don't have any kids, thankfully - and are not having any in the future. My wife was literally recovering from a sterilisation procedure when the email arrived. So it seemed a bit weird that they'd send her a […]

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