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Long ago, where barrels ran ramped and the trees consumed the earth,
was a time of life and of love and of happiness.
(You put one and two together, and what do you get?)


A long implementation of something so silly did we unearth,
beneath the meaning and nothing less.
(I'm sure you'll hear the words put together for it!↑1)

Picture yourself at a table with friends;
what you hit to begin is something key,
for 'tis the moniker that he sends
for you to discover with me.

I am on your left-hand side, as it may be
in each of three pictures on the glass.
My name is known, but only by he
who knows it not (but at this I'm just being an ***!).

But as for me, I know me best,
writing as long as I can!
For all of my tomes, there'll be pain, lest
you enjoy to read. (Say my name, young man!).

I am the one to offer a deal,
It is I to whom you will entrust your life
with the utmost zeal.
(But perhaps you gain instead, toil and strife.)

And I am the lowest of the low, the incredible hulk
of cheating you into your fate.
If you set your eyes upon me, you'll sulk
into a fury to be described as irate.

Each paragraph yields a single word (or a hyphenated word), and each section (delineated by the <hr>s and quote borders) yields a number. The entire poem will yield one word. The rhymes are for flavour.

Your answer should include a clear explanation and justification of your answer.

May good luck and your mind be with you.

HINT 4 letters are involved.

HINT 2 It can be found readily online.

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  • $\begingroup$ So the three sections yield numbers consisting of one, four, and three words respectively, and these three numbers together yield a single word?? $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 8, 2015 at 14:40
  • $\begingroup$ @randal'thor Ah, sorry. No: Each paragraph, on its own, will yield a word/hyphenated word. When looking at each section as a whole, you will be able to derive a number. When observing the entire poem, you will be able to again derive a word from it. $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 8, 2015 at 16:05
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ The first paragraph makes me think of Donkey Kong $\endgroup$ Commented Sep 22, 2015 at 13:38
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ @manshu Yes, of course, Poor choice of wording on my part. $\endgroup$ Commented Jan 2, 2016 at 18:33
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Is it related to 2012 movie somehow? guessing $\endgroup$
    – ABcDexter
    Commented Jan 8, 2016 at 5:00

3 Answers 3

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Is it xkcd? Not sure about most of it, but this mostly fits.

Clues with links:

Long ago, where barrels ran ramped and the trees consumed the earth, was a time of life and of love and of happiness. (You put one and two together, and what do you get?)

links:

The barrel comic was a series of comics with a guy floating in a barrel. Trees consumed the earth in one of the this comic.

There are some early comics referencing love, notably this one and this one.

Another clue:

Teacher. We trust him for knowledge.

Explanation:

Randall and/or Conor has some weird ideas of "knowledge", but I guess this fits.

Not sure about some of the rest. Will keep filling in.

Extra:

xkcd is 4 letters and is a webcomic, so online.

Also,

"I'm so meta" was one comic strip in xkcd.

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  • $\begingroup$ Good job, spot on! Any ideas as to the rest of it? $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 21:10
  • $\begingroup$ @CᴏɴᴏʀO'Bʀɪᴇɴ wait weren't you suspended? and no way. $\endgroup$
    – user18141
    Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 21:10
  • $\begingroup$ Yes, but only on PPCG. And yes, way. :) $\endgroup$ Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 21:10
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    $\begingroup$ @CᴏɴᴏʀO'Bʀɪᴇɴ I haven't really tried much on the other clues, but it was obvious once I read "4 letters" and "barrel". :P $\endgroup$
    – user18141
    Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 21:54
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ @CᴏɴᴏʀO'Bʀɪᴇɴ also, Randall is not a very good source for life information. Nerd sniping is just cruel. $\endgroup$
    – user18141
    Commented Mar 28, 2016 at 21:56
2
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If you can guess the answer. Then edit it. I have made this a community wiki

Long ago, where barrels ran ramped and the trees consumed the earth,
was a time of life and of love and of happiness. (You put one and two together, and what do you get?)

2012 movie. Barrels mean those ship at the end of the movie and tree means nature.

I am on your left-hand side, as it may be
in each of three pictures on the glass.
My name is known, but only by he
who knows it not

Heart. It has 3 layers of wall. Couldn't figure out about 'My name is known'.

I am the one to offer a deal,
It is I to whom you will entrust your life
with the utmost zeal.
(But perhaps you gain instead, toil and strife.)

Teacher. We trust him for knowledge.

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3
  • $\begingroup$ Nice try, but not the answer I was looking for. :) $\endgroup$ Commented Dec 30, 2015 at 21:42
  • $\begingroup$ @CᴏɴᴏʀO'Bʀɪᴇɴ does it mean that none of them are correct? I have another choice for paragraph 4 i.e. S.E. $\endgroup$
    – manshu
    Commented Dec 30, 2015 at 21:46
  • $\begingroup$ Sorry, but, yeah, none are correct. $\endgroup$ Commented Dec 30, 2015 at 22:16
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The likely answer to the fourth paragraph:

Beret Guy

I'm mainly going off of the first two sentences, which reminded me of this image:

image
Beret Guy is on the left. There are the three glasses in the middle.

The third sentence:

Technically, given he is never given a "real" name, we give him a placeholder name. Hence, "Beret Guy."

But this answer isn't really satisfactory to me. It seems like a cop-out.

Final sentence: no idea. BUT...

I am reminded of this comic. Here, it's very clever

A few other notes, starting with the up arrow.

Comic found here
this
Maybe the arrow should be ignored. It's a stretch, though.

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