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Unfortunately, from OP's description of his/her behaviors toward the kitten even AFTER the awareness and realization of the wrongness and abusiveness of her/his treatment toward the kitten, i.e., continuing the abuse, it may well be that the OP has a psychiatric condition which results in uncontrollable outbursts of rage, aggressive and even explosive, assaultive episodes, poor impulse control, which may even be beyond her/his control. Even though s/he did have the 'awareness' that the reasons s/he had told him-/herself to justify her/his behaviors toward the kitten were "unfounded," they still continued. Other aspects of his/her life, including school/academic performance, socialization skills, presence or absence of friendships as appropriate for a 17 year old, vs. being a "loner," her/his relationships with parent or parents, siblings, etc., may be significant diagnostically. As noted by others, these physical, abusive reactions to disappointment if unchecked may extend to human relationships later. S/he should consider meeting with an Adolescent Psychiatrist, enlisting parental assistance to arrange to do so since s/he is a minor (if in the USA), to be evaluated to ascertain whether or not there are significant factors that can, and should, be treated, whether through therapy, and/or medication management, based on the outcome of the evaluation of the 'bigger' picture. More specific diagnostic possibilities would be speculative now without further assessment and not appropriate to include here. (Posted by an Adolescent Psychiatrist, MD, JD.)

Unfortunately, from OP's description of his/her behaviors toward the kitten even AFTER the awareness and realization of the wrongness and abusiveness of her/his treatment toward the kitten, i.e., continuing the abuse, it may well be that the OP has a psychiatric condition which results in uncontrollable outbursts of rage, aggressive and even explosive, assaultive episodes, poor impulse control, which may even be beyond her/his control. Even though s/he did have the 'awareness' that the reasons s/he had told him-/herself to justify her/his behaviors toward the kitten were "unfounded," they still continued.

Other aspects of his/her life, including school/academic performance, socialization skills, presence or absence of friendships as appropriate for a 17 year old, vs. being a "loner," her/his relationships with parent or parents, siblings, etc., may be significant diagnostically. As noted by others, these physical, abusive reactions to disappointment if unchecked may extend to human relationships later. S/he should consider meeting with an Adolescent Psychiatrist, enlisting parental assistance to arrange to do so since s/he is a minor (if in the USA), to be evaluated to ascertain whether or not there are significant factors that can, and should, be treated, whether through therapy, and/or medication management, based on the outcome of the evaluation of the 'bigger' picture. More specific diagnostic possibilities would be speculative now without further assessment and not appropriate to include here. (Posted by an Adolescent Psychiatrist, MD, JD.)

Unfortunately, from OP's description of his/her behaviors toward the kitten even AFTER the awareness and realization of the wrongness and abusiveness of her/his treatment toward the kitten, i.e., continuing the abuse, it may well be that the OP has a psychiatric condition which results in uncontrollable outbursts of rage, aggressive and even explosive, assaultive episodes, poor impulse control, which may even be beyond his control. Even though s/he did have the 'awareness' that the reasons s/he had told him-/herself to justify her/his behaviors toward the kitten were "unfounded," they still continued. Other aspects of his/her life, including school/academic performance, socialization skills, presence or absence of friendships as appropriate for a 17 year old, vs. being a "loner," her/his relationships with parent or parents, siblings, etc., may be significant diagnostically. As noted by others, these physical, abusive reactions to disappointment if unchecked may extend to human relationships later. S/he should consider meeting with an Adolescent Psychiatrist, enlisting parental assistance to arrange to do so since s/he is a minor (if in the USA), to be evaluated to ascertain whether or not there are significant factors that can, and should, be treated, whether through therapy, and/or medication management, based on the outcome of the evaluation of the 'bigger' picture. More specific diagnostic possibilities would be speculative now without further assessment and not appropriate to include here. (Posted by an Adolescent Psychiatrist, MD, JD.)

Unfortunately, from OP's description of his/her behaviors toward the kitten even AFTER the awareness and realization of the wrongness and abusiveness of her/his treatment toward the kitten, i.e., continuing the abuse, it may well be that the OP has a psychiatric condition which results in uncontrollable outbursts of rage, aggressive and even explosive, assaultive episodes, poor impulse control, which may even be beyond her/his control. Even though s/he did have the 'awareness' that the reasons s/he had told him-/herself to justify her/his behaviors toward the kitten were "unfounded," they still continued. Other aspects of his/her life, including school/academic performance, socialization skills, presence or absence of friendships as appropriate for a 17 year old, vs. being a "loner," her/his relationships with parent or parents, siblings, etc., may be significant diagnostically. As noted by others, these physical, abusive reactions to disappointment if unchecked may extend to human relationships later. S/he should consider meeting with an Adolescent Psychiatrist, enlisting parental assistance to arrange to do so since s/he is a minor (if in the USA), to be evaluated to ascertain whether or not there are significant factors that can, and should, be treated, whether through therapy, and/or medication management, based on the outcome of the evaluation of the 'bigger' picture. More specific diagnostic possibilities would be speculative now without further assessment and not appropriate to include here. (Posted by an Adolescent Psychiatrist, MD, JD.)

Unfortunately, from OP's description of his/her behaviors toward the kitten even AFTER the awareness and realization of the wrongness and abusiveness of his treatment toward the kitten, i.e., continuing the abuse, it may well be that the OP has a psychiatric condition which results in uncontrollable outbursts of rage, aggressive and even explosive, assaultive episodes, poor impulse control, which may even be beyond his control, even if he does now have the 'awareness' that the reasons he had told himself to justify his behaviors toward the kitten were "unfounded" but still continued. Other aspects of his/her life, including school/academic performance, socialization skills, presence or absence of friendships as appropriate for a 17 year old, her/his relationship with parent or parents, siblings, etc., may be significant diagnostically. S/he should consider meeting with an Adolescent Psychiatrist, enlisting parental assistance to arrange to do so since s/he is a minor (if in the USA) to be evaluated to ascertain whether there are factors that can, and should, be treated, whether through therapy, and/or medication management, based on the outcome of the evaluation of the 'bigger' picture. More specific diagnostic possibilities would be speculative now without further assessment and not appropriate to include here. (Posted by an Adolescent Psychiatrist, MD, JD.)

Unfortunately, from OP's description of his/her behaviors toward the kitten even AFTER the awareness and realization of the wrongness and abusiveness of her/his treatment toward the kitten, i.e., continuing the abuse, it may well be that the OP has a psychiatric condition which results in uncontrollable outbursts of rage, aggressive and even explosive, assaultive episodes, poor impulse control, which may even be beyond his control. Even though s/he did have the 'awareness' that the reasons s/he had told him-/herself to justify her/his behaviors toward the kitten were "unfounded," they still continued. Other aspects of his/her life, including school/academic performance, socialization skills, presence or absence of friendships as appropriate for a 17 year old, vs. being a "loner," her/his relationships with parent or parents, siblings, etc., may be significant diagnostically. As noted by others, these physical, abusive reactions to disappointment if unchecked may extend to human relationships later. S/he should consider meeting with an Adolescent Psychiatrist, enlisting parental assistance to arrange to do so since s/he is a minor (if in the USA), to be evaluated to ascertain whether or not there are significant factors that can, and should, be treated, whether through therapy, and/or medication management, based on the outcome of the evaluation of the 'bigger' picture. More specific diagnostic possibilities would be speculative now without further assessment and not appropriate to include here. (Posted by an Adolescent Psychiatrist, MD, JD.)