It can be irresponsible to pay off your debts now, you should always pay them off eventually though. You should set a very high bar, however, in determining that. You must take care of your families needs (food, shelter, transportation, clothing, utilities). Now comes the high bar, you shouldn't see the inside of a restaurant until these debts are paid off unless you are bussing tables. You should not be driving a BMW or other fancy car. If you can get by on a bike, sell one of the cars and use the bike. That is what I mean by a high bar. Cancel the cable/satellite, internet, piano lessons, etc.

I'd recommend Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps. You can get his Total Money Makeover book for very cheap used (try thrift stores too). Also, find out who plays his radio show in your area and listen to it.

Only after you have decreased the lifestyle so much that it really cannot be decreased any more, picked up an extra job delivering pizza or bussing tables, sold every nonessential item in the house (TV, cat, dog, etc), can you really determine if paying off the student loans now is irresponsible. And it would only be irresponsible if you cannot take care of your families needs after doing all that.

Finally, there is some very disconcerting behavior (beyond the debt) going on here. You and your wife are a team. This is not "my wife's debt" this is "our debt". It is not "my income", it is "our income". Unless you two tackle this as a team, you will never make progress. The two of you should be sitting down at least once a week, documenting exactly what you are spending you money on, looking for ways to cut in order to pay the debts down faster.

It can be irresponsible to pay off your debts now, you should always pay them off eventually though. You should set a very high bar, however, in determining that. You must take care of your families needs (food, shelter, transportation, clothing, utilities). Now comes the high bar, you shouldn't see the inside of a restaurant until these debts are paid off unless you are bussing tables. You should not be driving a BMW or other fancy car. In fact, if you have a car payment, and can cancel it by selling the car, you should do that. Then use the profits to pay cash for something. If you can get by on a bike, sell one of the cars and use the bike. That is what I mean by a high bar. Cancel the cable/satellite, internet, piano lessons, etc.

I'd recommend Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps. You can get his Total Money Makeover book for very cheap used (try thrift stores too). Also, find out who plays his radio show in your area and listen to it.

Only after you have decreased the lifestyle so much that it really cannot be decreased any more, picked up an extra job delivering pizza or bussing tables, sold every nonessential item in the house (TV, cat, dog, etc), can you really determine if paying off the student loans now is irresponsible. And it would only be irresponsible if you cannot take care of your families needs after doing all that.

Finally, there is some very disconcerting behavior (beyond the debt) going on here. You and your wife are a team. This is not "my wife's debt" this is "our debt". It is not "my income", it is "our income". Unless you two tackle this as a team, you will never make progress. The two of you should be sitting down at least once a week, documenting exactly what you are spending you money on, looking for ways to cut in order to pay the debts down faster.