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55

Yes, this. SE presumes bad intent and wields heavy weapons. This is not the respectful culture of "be nice". (I'm out of votes for today and hope I remember to come back after Shabbat. Feel free to remind me.)
– Monica Cellio
Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 21:01
How to handle when there's different understandings of what respect is?
– Tiago Peres
Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 21:12
Interesting read @SridharRatnakumar. Liked in particular «Which means that the palliative remedy of civility, while exacerbating the problem at times, is not the exemplary solution that many people claim it to be.» Still didn't really answer my question, isn't that simple... My two cents , feelings change regularly, often we find ourselves having two opposing feelings or not even be able to understand them. How to not be a puppet of feelings? Make a promise.
– Tiago Peres
Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 21:59
2

Be careful about the expression potential criminals a post that had the line “Don't criminalize things that most users think are normal behaviour or that could be done out of cluelessness” was edited and changed by a CM. It appears figurative expressions will also be purged, especially if they are used to cast the company in an evil light.
– Mari-Lou A Слава Україні
Commented Oct 12, 2019 at 6:38
2

@TiagoMartinsPeres The accusation of being disrespectful can arise from two things, as far as I can see: a) the accused intended to be disrespectful, or b) the accuser felt offended by what the accused (innocuously) said.
– Sridhar Ratnakumar
Commented Oct 12, 2019 at 15:12
Understandable @Sridhar Ratnakumar. Might want to look in more detail the term "said" in b), and what lead in a) intended transmits the idea something was done (what was that?).
– Tiago Peres
Commented Oct 12, 2019 at 15:44
1

We cannot all get behind the intent of the changes in the CoC, nor can we get behind the CoC in general. Also, it is not clear what the actual intent is; many (including myself) believe that the gendered pronouns issue is just being used as a red herring.
– einpoklum
Commented Oct 13, 2019 at 8:38
Depending on how it is phrased a CoC can be used to abuse others, as this Stackoverflow incident demonstrates plentifully. Here's another instance: twitter.com/carnivivre/status/1181380319469019138
– Sridhar Ratnakumar
Commented Oct 13, 2019 at 15:59
@einpoklum fair enough. We can get behind inclusiveness towards everyone, regardless of gender. We hope this was the intent here. We also hope same inclusiveness will also apply to different religions, ethnicities etc.
– Galastel supports GoFundMonica
Commented Oct 14, 2019 at 12:39
5

I was doing software development in SF area in the 80s. I've worked with people who don't fit US mainstream's binary gender definitions for longer than most people have been alive. My daughters grew up with all types of gender identities as the norm. Yet I find the CoC, and how SE staff have responded to criticism, especially Sara Chipps, to be utterly, unambiguously offensive. This is not inclusiveness. This is bullshit. If SO weren't extremely valuable, this would be the last straw. If someone is offended by they as an alternative to he, as a universal pronoun- their issue, not mine.
– ToolmakerSteve
Commented Oct 18, 2019 at 19:57
4

... no, you don't get to force your desired language (pronoun) on the culture around you. You can request it. But don't be offended when people do what they do. Compromise. Be patient. Change of this type takes time.
– ToolmakerSteve
Commented Oct 18, 2019 at 19:58

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