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    It's not just you, many native speakers are also bewildered, confused and wary.
    – Mari-Lou A Слава Україні
    Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 10:55
  • 8
    "Now I'm afraid I could be suspended": I guess you are afraid of that because you think this is a complicated minefield, where one honest simple mistake can get you sanctioned. That is not the case, and is actually clearly stated as such in the CoC and the FAQ. "Use stated pronouns (when known)." is easy to abide by. I guess you however believe it is a complicated minefield because there are people who don't want to do that who have raised strawman objections to make it seem complicated.
    – Raedwald
    Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 11:12
  • 16
    @Raedwald my problem is not on this point, not being allowed to disengage (hence why I answer this comment) is a problem, I don't see how getting out of an argument if leaving the talk can be flagged as refusing to acknowledge someone identity and I'm very unsure if that won't be declined due to how Monica was fired for that
    – Tensibai
    Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 11:25
  • 4
    "not being allowed to disengage": nothing written in any SE post says this. Some people being disingenuous suggest it. Again, focus on what the CoC says: ""Use stated pronouns (when known)."
    – Raedwald
    Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 11:31
  • 1
    Indeed, I probably inferred that badly reading around, pretty sure I've read that could be considered against the code of conduct somewhere but I won't search it. Anyway I see enough possibility that could turn wrong to turn me off. Not arguing if it's a rational feeling or not, that just how I feel with all those rules and the actions taken
    – Tensibai
    Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 11:43
  • 50
    @Raedwald I think what you’re missing is that the CoC is vague that people have to trust that it will be enforced fairly. Monica’s treatment and the tone-deaf response to the backlash has left many of us feeling uncertain about that. That problem isn’t solved by repeatedly stating one particular interpretation of the CoC. We already know that processes aren’t followed when you’re on the “wrong” side. It’s been clearly demonstrated.
    – ColleenV
    Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 14:20
  • 6
    I would upvote a hundred times if I could, for "I don't feel safe answering".
    – Galastel supports GoFundMonica
    Commented Oct 11, 2019 at 19:11
  • 5
    @Raedwald, "Use stated pronouns (when known)." is only "easy to abide by" when your level of English is good enough that you don't need to think about it. I know plenty of people who will use he and her to refer to the same person.
    – Peter Taylor
    Commented Oct 12, 2019 at 8:17
  • 3
    @Tensibai, you are not alone. I am a native English speaker and I won't take the risk either. If I give my time for free, it's simply not worthwhile to take any risks of being involved in a mess like Monica was.
    – user1725145
    Commented Oct 12, 2019 at 18:07
  • 2
    @Raedwald: The point is, that procedurally, the CoC is like a mine field. There's no due process on anything. It's sudden-death justice.
    – einpoklum
    Commented Oct 13, 2019 at 8:37
  • Yeh, SO is becoming more toxic every day, especially for newcomers, with laws that outcount the judicial system.
    – Akshay K Nair
    Commented Nov 6, 2021 at 9:57