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    Even though the new guideline hasn't been published yet, I have been scrupulous in not violating it. I asked questions about how it was being interpreted so that I could avoid violating it. Those questions have largely gone unanswered and I erred on the side of caution, as I will when something is actually published if I'm still here.
    – Monica Cellio
    Commented Sep 29, 2019 at 19:14
  • 23
    @MonicaCellio I got your message, I'll flick you an email later today. I stepped down because I'm tired. My life is busy and tiring and modding was one thing on top. I've left all social media, even cancelled netflix so I spend time on the things I need to.
    – user310756
    Commented Sep 29, 2019 at 22:33
  • 45
    So Caleb on Christianity has thankfully broken the silence and confirmed what some may have suspected: the discussion was about the use of incorrectly gendered pronouns and whether this use should be considered “rude”. SE should thank him, it clarifies the discussion immensely (and, FWIW, changes my own view of the debate — somewhat).
    – Konrad Rudolph
    Commented Sep 30, 2019 at 16:27
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    @KonradRudolph "about the use of incorrectly gendered pronouns" - or rather, about the use of preferred pronouns. Per Caleb's post, apparently something in the new CoC would forbid those who morally object to using someone's "preferred pronoun" from instead simply referring to the person by name to sidestep the conflict; instead, it would be mandatory, upon request, to re-engage with them and work their preferred pronouns into one's subsequent comments. We also don't know for sure yet whether this is the same issue Monica objected to.
    – Mark Amery
    Commented Sep 30, 2019 at 16:57
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    @MarkAmery, the Hebrew language has a feature called grammatical gender, where words are inflected based on features of the noun they refer to. Reading between the lines, it sounds like Monica was fired for asking how this would interact with the requirement to use preferred pronouns: whether it requires writing grammatically-incorrect Hebrew.
    – Mark
    Commented Sep 30, 2019 at 22:04
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    @MonicaCellio What do you think about this?
    – Victor Stafusa
    Commented Sep 30, 2019 at 23:20
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    @VictorStafusa contains errors; I'll comment there. I also made an update to my post on Mi Yodeya meta, since the nature of the CoC change is now public.
    – Monica Cellio
    Commented Oct 2, 2019 at 1:07
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    @MarkAmery I fthey insist on that, its going to be interesting when they find out what my new preferred pronous are going to be. Yours, My Lord Master God gbjbaanb. (that was the clean version :) One of the best ways to deal with autocrats is simple mis-obedience to their rules.
    – gbjbaanb
    Commented Oct 2, 2019 at 14:11
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    @KonradRudolph everyone agrees that knowingly using incorrect pronouns is wrong. That's rude. The issue is that apparently writing in a gender-neutral way (about everyone, not just some folks) to avoid gender landmines isn't acceptable. There's a new footnote in my Mi Yodeya meta post about this (now that the info is out and I don't have to worry about being accused of leaking it).
    – Monica Cellio
    Commented Oct 2, 2019 at 15:34
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    @MonicaCellio - "everyone agrees that knowingly using incorrect pronouns is wrong... ...apparently writing in a gender-neutral way (about everyone, not just some folks) to avoid gender landmines isn't acceptable." I am someone, part of everyone, who has been using the gender neutral "they" in my answers and comments on SE sites for years. Sometimes I slip up and use "he/she", but "they" is fine with me. So please, though I admire you greatly, support you and am standing up to TPTB because of your termination, do not make this an "everybody knows/it's not acceptable" issue, because it's not.
    – anongoodnurse
    Commented Oct 2, 2019 at 19:40
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    @anongoodnurse sorry; maybe I wasn't clear enough. I didn't see anybody that discussion support using incorrect pronouns. Some people seem to think that some mods support that; I'm saying I'm not one of them and didn't see it in this discussion. I specifically asked if writing in a gender-neutral way -- which for me means avoiding third-person singular pronouns in favor of plurals, names, other references, or other sentence structure -- was ok. Some mods told me it's not and Sara dismissed my question. That reaction astounds me, because many people including you and I write GN now!
    – Monica Cellio
    Commented Oct 2, 2019 at 20:02
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    'those who morally object to using someone's "preferred pronoun"' - There's a case to be made for not allowing people who harbor such petty "moral objections" to occupy positions of power and privilege. If your moral high-horse prevents you from showing others a basic courtesy when they ask for it, you really shouldn't be a moderator. Not saying that applies specifically to the case being discussed, but some of the commentary makes it clear that some people do feel there's a legitimate moral basis for disrespecting others. If your moral conceit means that much to you, don't mod. Simples.
    – aroth
    Commented Dec 18, 2019 at 3:18