Well, I am generally researching X-ray tomography. I went to the lab to ask them if I could put a cheese in one of the machines, but they are not cool with it....

So I simulated an X-ray machine on the cheese and reconstructed the result for better analysis. I used MATLAB and the TIGRE toolbox*.

Cheese generation:

%% Create cheese

% First we create a filled cheese
imageSize= 512;
[columnsInImage rowsInImage] = meshgrid(1:imageSize, 1:imageSize);
% Next create the circle in the image.
centerX = 50;
centerY = 50;
radius = 400;
maincheese = (rowsInImage - centerY).^2 ...
    + (columnsInImage - centerX).^2 <= radius.^2;

maincheese(1:100,:)=0;
maincheese(:,1:100)=0;

fullcheese=zeros(imageSize,imageSize,imageSize,'single');

fullcheese(:,:,50:430)=repmat(maincheese,1,1,430-50+1);

clear columnsInImage rowsInImage

Now let's make it Swiss. We like manchego, but do we like it more than Swiss? No.

nholes=100;
[x,y,z]=meshgrid(1:imageSize, 1:imageSize,1:imageSize);
holecenters=randi(imageSize,3,nholes);
holesizes=rand(1,nholes)*50;
holes=false(size(x));
for ii=1:nholes
holes=holes|((x - holecenters(1,ii)).^2 ...
    + (y -  holecenters(2,ii)).^2 ...
    + (z -  holecenters(3,ii)).^2 <= holesizes(ii).^2);
end
fullcheese(holes)=0;

Then I generated X-ray projections from a circular trajectory

%% Define Geometry
%
% VARIABLE                                   DESCRIPTION                    UNITS
geo.DSD = 1536;                             % Distance Source Detector      (mm)
geo.DSO = 1000;                             % Distance Source Origin        (mm)
% Detector parameters

% Image parameters
geo.nVoxel=[128;128;128]*2;                   % number of voxels              (vx)
geo.sVoxel=[256;256;256]/2;                   % total size of the image       (mm)
geo.dVoxel=geo.sVoxel./geo.nVoxel;          % size of each voxel            (mm)



geo.nDetector=[192;  128];                    % number of pixels              (px)
geo.dDetector=[3; 3];                     % size of each pixel            (mm)
geo.sDetector=geo.nDetector.*geo.dDetector; % total size of the detector    (mm)


% Auxiliary
geo.accuracy=0.5;                           % Accuracy of FWD proj          (vx/sample)
geo.mode='cone';                         % Accuracy of FWD proj          (vx/sample)

nangles=180;
angles=linspace(0,2*pi-2*pi/nangles,nangles)-pi;
projections=Ax(fullcheese,geo,angles,'interpolated');

And finally I reconstructed it using two different mathematical methods, just for better cheese-analysis.

fdkcheese=FDK(projections, geo, angles);
ossartcheese=OS_SART(projections, geo, angles, 50);

Resulting in this deep insight on how cheese is, with non-destructive testing. (The image shows slices of cheese.)

plotImg([sartcheese, fdktest], 'dim', 3, 'savegif', 'cheeses.gif')

Now you can know how to cut the cheese so everyone gets equal amount of holes, before even cutting!

*Disclaimer: I programmed the TIGRE toolbox and am not trying to promote it. I just know how to make cheese fast with it.

Well, it's gouda you guys to do this, but I'm sure that it will grate on quite a few people. I would proceed very caerphilly with this proposal. Or, on the other hand you could just sit back and have morbier and watch the curds fly.

I would like to offer this advice, because if this really blows up, all that will be left is de brie, and nobody wants that. Just sit back, put on some nice rhythm and bleu's, pick a snack that you are fondue of, except for that one because that one is nacho cheese. On the other hand, eat it because wotsit matter anyway?

Consider the feta of most posts in this salvo, and vote appropriately. Appreciate the sharp wit, be mild with the newbies, and get yourself out of the daily rind for a while. If you must completely retreat, I recommend creating a moatsarella around your house, then stand on your roof shouting "How dairy you?!?".

Once everything is ova, stop throwing stones because the roquefort's back on occasion. Get the beavers out of the moat and break apart their edam. Think about what you've done that might curdle others' toes, and stop being so curd in your speech. Try to be a bit more cultured, but not necessarily Stiltoned, follow the roules, and try to avoid a meltdown.

A few final thoughts - If you want to be clever, use mascapone and go as a horse for Halloween (Make sure you get a tunworth of candy). Avoid angering the Hallouminati, and always act mature.

How about some StackExcheese? Modeled in Blender rendered with Cycles with fully procedural textures (no images harmed during the rendering of this 3D model).

In the Portuguese language there is a common traditional saying that eating a lot of cheese makes you forgetful, so stick around and restore some knowledge from the vast sea of Q&A sites.

I do love me some cheese though; my favorites are Halloumi, Ricotta, Edam, Mozzarella and Feta.

Here's me talking about cheese AND cheese boards over a year ago to a user named @CHEESE. Destiny much?

-drops mic-

I've moved some cheese!

Stop Moving My Cheese

Run this stack snippet and try to get the cheese with your cursor.

var showAlert = true;
$('#cheese').on('mouseenter',function(e){
    $(this).animate({
        'left': getRandomInt(0, $(window).width() - $(this).width()),
        'top': getRandomInt(0, $(window).height() - $(this).height())
    }, 500);
    showAlert = true;
});

$('#cheese').on('click', function(e) {
  if (showAlert) {
    alert("Got the cheese!");
    showAlert = false;
  }
  
});
function getRandomInt(min, max) {
    return Math.floor(Math.random() * (max - min + 1));
}

html {
  cursor: grab;
}
#cheese {
    position:absolute;
    height:100px;
    width:88px;
}

<script src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.11.1/jquery.min.js"></script>
<img id="cheese" src="https://i.sstatic.net/4nsAx.png"/>

tl;dr - just watch the video - I'm a big fan of the ending! Cheese Overflow (not at all deliberate...)

I once entertained* my girlfriend in a park in Denmark with a reasonably accurate rendition of all of the collected works of Monty Python's Flying Circus (we did have to wait many hours for the next ferry back from Esbjerg to the UK)

The only one she really enjoyed was the Cheese Shop Sketch. We both agreed it was a masterpiece of British comedy. And my devotion to a life of cheese was born. We split up soon after (unconnected fact, obviously) but I still believe cheese is the food of the gods.

But my cheeseboard is old and frail...

My lowly offering to cheese overflow is below, made from a rather nice Barber's Vintage Reserve Cheddar (If you want to see the limited edition, director's cut video, and understand why I am currently in a bit of a cholesterol haze, click here):

*Bored senseless, apparently. Sorry Kirsty...

Sniff, sniff.

Shog's nose wrinkled. The unthinkable had happened. Someone - and he knew exactly who it was - had just cut the cheese¹.

He had been calmly sitting in his office, working - the folks over at Cooking.SE were having a bit of a salty² discussion on meta - when someone in the office had released a foul, lingering odor.

And since he worked from home, it was of course him.

With the smell grating³ on his nerves, Shog decided to take the prudent course of action and exit the room, at least until the pungent smell had dissipated. I'll just go get a snack, he decided.
He opened the door of his office and walked down to his kitchen.

"Pickles..." he said, scanning the shelves. "No. Appear to be out."
He glanced over at where he usually kept his baking experiments. Unfortunately, mold appeared to be well on its way towards gaining sentience there.
His tomato patch was still unripe.

Opening the fridge was a slight improvement. Here there was half a watermelon rind⁴, a few slices of pizza, and... a rotten orange, emitting malodorous fumes. In his fridge. It seemed like Shog's nose was in for a rough day.

He sigh and decided to just grab the pizza. He pulled it out, walked over to the microwave, and was about to pop a slice in when he heard a sound behind him. His back stiffened. Slowly, he wheel⁵ed around.

A heavy weight struck his head, and Shog knew no more.

Catija⁶ watched as her toddler, screaming, lay on the floor, beating his fists on the rug. Having a temper tantrum. Naturally. She couldn't wait until he matured⁷ a little.

"It's okay, Ben!" she said, trying to calm him down. "I'll only be out for a few hours. Your father will be here soon."
She turned to the babysitter, who was eyeing the kid on the floor warily. "I'm sorry... he's not usually like this," she told her, frowning. "I don't know why he's having a melt⁸down now."

The teenager gave a nervous grin, flashing braces.
"It's okay, ma'am, hopefully I can handle it."

"You have my phone number?" Catija asked.
"Yes, I do," the sitter confirmed.
"Good. I shouldn't be back later than 11, and Andy should be here by 5. His bedtime is 7:30."
"Got it," the girl said, making a note on her large purple phone.

Catija took one last look at the screaming child on the floor, picked up her bag, and walked out, closing the door behind her.

It was a warm day for the fall... but then again, it was Texas.

As Catija walked down the street, a taxi pulled up next to her. The window rolled down.
"Need a ride, ma'am?" the driver asked, his face obscured by a large pair of sunglasses.

"No, thanks," she started to decline. But before she could finish, a chemical-doused rag was thrust out the window, and her sight faded to black.

The man in black paced around the room. The Swiss⁹ gentleman had just been informed that the capture of the man known as Shog9 and the woman known as Catija had been smoothly executed, and that the pair was now being held. The team he had sent had done a gouda¹⁰ job.

Now he could finally execute the next stage of the plan. He smiled as he dialed the phone.

Pizza. Everything was black. Microwave. Headache.

Shog groggily opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor in a dark room.
He sat up, rubbing his eyes. There was a large lump on the back of his head, probably because the head in question had recently had a slight disagreement with a heavy object.

As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he could start to make out several things about his surroundings.

• he was not alone

On the other side of the room, still out cold, was his new colleague, Catija. Apart from her, though, there was nobody in the room that he could see.

• he was apparently in a cheese factory

All around him were refrigerators, filled with cheese wheels, still aging. There was also a table stacked with what appeared to be containers of shredded cheese.

Odd, he thought. Why would cheese be left out like that?
Not in a fridge it would spoil. Unless...

He crossed the room, heading over to the table to look more closely at these containers. As he passed by her, Catija started to stir. "Wh- what..." she mumbled. Her eyes shot open.

She took a minute to look around her. She was in a small room that was reminiscent of a storage facility. There was large refrigerators around her. And her co-worker Shog - with a rather large lump on his head - standing next to a table, holding a container of shredded cheese.

"I'm thinking this might not actually be cheese."

Caught off guard, Catija turned her head to look at Shog. "What?"

"This might not be cheese," he repeated. "Look. It's not in the fridge, and it doesn't really look like cheese."

She walked over to look. He was right. The "cheese" was too white, thin, and long to be cheese. It looked more like strips of paper.

"You're right," she said. "It looks like... shredded¹¹ paper."

Before he could respond, she popped open the container and grabbed what was in there. Paper.

She upended the container onto the table. Pieces of paper fluttered down to land in a messy pile.

"It looks like... a puzzle," Shog realized. And without needing further discussion, they set to reconstructing the puzzle.

When they had finished, things weren't exactly clearer.

THE NAME OF THIS SEMI-HARD, PALE YELLOW CHEESE IS FORMED OF TWO PARTS. ONE IS THE STAGE OF A CELESTIAL OBJECT. THE OTHER IS A GEOGRAPHIC OBJECT NEAR A BODY OF WATER.

_ _ _ _-_ _ _ _ | _ _ _

THIS AUSTRIAN, SEMI-HARD CHEESE HAS A TWO-WORD NAME. THE FIRST IS A RELATED TO AN IMMENSE GEOGRAPHICAL PHENOMENON. THE SECOND IS RELATED TO LUKE SKYWALKER.

_ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _

DETESTED BY MANY, THIS CHEESE IS AMONG THE OLDEST ON THE PLANET, AND, IN THE UNITED STATES, WAS OFTEN ILLEGALLY REPLACED BY WOOD.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

THE INFAMOUS CHEESE CASU MARZU - MADE USING MAGGOTS - COMES FROM THIS MEH ITALIAN CHEESE.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

THIS CHEESE'S FIRST NAME MAY BE SIMILAR TO A NEW STATE IN THE US AND THE HOME OF BILBO BAGGINS, BUT IT'S ALSO THE NAME OF A DOG (AND THE NAME OF AN ENGLISH PLACE). THE SECOND MAY BE SAD, BUT IT'S ALSO FUNKY AND SKY-HIGH.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _

WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE.

THIS IVORY-COLORED CHEESE MAY NOT REQUIRE TWO, BUT THE DANCE IT SHARES A NAME WITH CERTAINLY DOES.

_ _ _ _ _

THIS MOLDY CHEESE MAY BE DELICIOUS, BUT YOU MAY BE TEMPTED TO, INSTEAD, SAY "EW". AFTER ALL, THAT'S ITS NAME.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _

THIS SEMI-HARD CHEESE IS ALSO A CELESTIAL STAGE, BUT YOU CAN'T SEE IT.

_ _ _ | _ _ _ _

THIS NUTTY CHEESE'S NAME IS TWO WORDS. ONE IS PROBABLY IN YOUR DINING ROOM. IT MAY HAVE A CLOTH ON IT. THE OTHER IS NOT QUITE METAL, BUT NOT BLUE EITHER. IT'S NEXT TO A HARD PLACE, THOUGH.

_ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _

THIS YELLOW CHEESE IS WARM ALL ROUND - IT'S SMOKEY, SPICY, AND HOT. YOU CAN PROBABLY FIND IT IN THE HEARTH, TOO, WHERE IT'S ALSO FAIRLY WARM.

_ _ _ _

Can you help Shog and Catija by solving the puzzle and finding out what the answer is?

I warn you: The answer is cheesy.

_{¹An idiom for passing gas.}

_{²Salty cheese, yum.}

_{³A pun on grating cheese.}

_{⁴Ever heard of cheese rinds?}

_{⁵Cheese wheels!}

_{⁶Apparently, there's a cheese called Cotija.}

_{⁷On the other hand, most cheeses are rather mature...}

_{⁸Cheese melts. I admit this one was rather poor.}

_{⁹Holey puns!}

_{¹⁰I'm sorry. This one was obligatory.}

_{¹¹Shredded cheese. Works well on pizza.}

A mouse dreaming of the cheese-filled moon

Made from heavily modifying and combining elements of several royalty free images, this mouse is longing for a taste of the cheese that the moon is obviously made of.

As a disclaimer, I am allergic to cheese... but I like Photoshop and SE so all is good :)

A cheezy freehand circle for you :)

Have some easy-to-code cheese!

With some work and toil, I've found some plain cheese,
It'd bring me delight, if you'd use some of these.
Should you want with strength, a password or three,
I'd strongly suggest, using cheese ASCII!

        ___ _____
       /\ (_)    \
      /  \      (_,
     _)  _\   _    \
    /   (_)\_( )____\
    \_     /    _  _/
      ) /\/  _ (o)(
      \ \_) (o)   /
       \/________/     


         _--"-.
      .-"      "-.
     |""--..      '-.
     |      ""--..   '-.
     |.-. .-".    ""--..".
     |'./  -_'  .-.      |
     |      .-. '.-'   .-'
     '--..  '.'    .-  -.
          ""--..   '_'   :
                ""--..   |
                      ""-' 

         _________ /-'._________
        /         /     \       .
       / ______  /       .       -
      / /      //         |        --------.
     / /      /|----------|                .
    / /      //|          |          _____.'|
   / /______// |          |     _ .       |.
  /  -------'   ----------   ,-   | ------
  --------------------------   _ "
 |_________________________|,-

(Just make sure you keep this guy away from it!)

(o)(o)--.
 \../ (  )
 m\/m--m'`--. 

^{Credit here and here}

An overflow of cheese?! You gotta brie kidding!

This is gonna be grate.

I tried to make it as gouda as possible, and it ended up being made swiss love. A holy rendition of our most sacred symbol.

Say cheese! ;)

And, if you were thinking, "ricotta try this!", here is a platter straight from the block.

Oh Dair-y and Holey Cow!. What did y'all think? Let's start with the hardest task? Oh well. I started my cheesy queste here and from there it all went rolling down hill.

I'm personally most fond of soft cheeses, but I make an exception for hooks. I'm also very fond of crochet hooks. But what's a better entry for a digital cheese competition than a perfect piece of Dutch E-dam? So, I went to get some... But...

EEEEK! A Mouse!.

STOP! Look and listen!

This was a quadruple cheeseburger with extra bacon, designed to see if you were paying attention. You didn't pass. This food has severe culinary issues. It is fattening nonsense, oversized, Spam-packed, blatantly unhealthy or otherwise irredeemable - connoisseurs will find it disgusting or repulsive rather than tasty. Please throw away or recommend license revocation when reviewing such food.

Don't worry, we've already handled this food appropriately (we did take the food handler's course) - but please take a minute to look it over closely, keeping in mind the guidance above.

I've had enough of these cheesy audits

Ready for a Stackoverflow cheesy riddle? (Hint: Feta pH usually ranges from 4.4 to 4.6):

Live Demo

Or, view it below:

$(function() {
    $('#slide').click(function() {
        if($("#answer").val() != 4.4) {
	    $('#slide').text("Try again..");
            return;
        }
        $('#slide').hide();
        setTimeout(hide_puzzle, 500);
        setTimeout(decode, 1500);
    });
});

function hide_puzzle() {
     $('#puzzle').hide();
}

function decode() {
     var delay = 0;
     var reels = $('#reels').children().each(function() {
         var reel = this;
         setTimeout(function() {
             $(reel).toggleClass("reel-change");
         }, delay);
         setTimeout(function() {
             changeLetter(reel);
         }, delay + 500);
         setTimeout(function() {
             $(reel).toggleClass("reel-change");
         }, delay + 1000);
         delay += 200;
     });
}

function changeLetter(el) {
    el.innerHTML = incrementChar(el.innerHTML);
}

var alphabet = 'ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'.split('')
function incrementChar(c) {
    var index = alphabet.indexOf(c);
    return alphabet[index + -4] || alphabet[index + -4 + 26] || alphabet[0];
}

@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Delius+Unicase');

#reels {  
  font-family: 'Delius Unicase', sans-serif;
}

#reels > div {
  width: 12px;
  overflow:hidden;
  padding:3px;
  display:inline-block;
}

#reels > div.end-of-word {
  padding-right:14px;
}

#reels > div.reel-change {
  animation: slideReel 1s 1;
}

@keyframes slideReel {
  0% {
  transform: translateY(0);
  opacity:1;
  }
  49% {
  transform: translateY(-30px);
  opacity:0;
  }
  50% {
  transform: translateY(30px);
  }
  100 % {
  transform: translateY(0px);
  opacity:1;
  }
}

#reels {
  margin-bottom:10px;
}


.myButton {
-moz-box-shadow: 0px 1px 0px 0px #1c1b18;
-webkit-box-shadow: 0px 1px 0px 0px #1c1b18;
box-shadow: 0px 1px 0px 0px #1c1b18;
background:-webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0.05, #eae0c2), color-stop(1, #ccc2a6));
background:-moz-linear-gradient(top, #eae0c2 5%, #ccc2a6 100%);
background:-webkit-linear-gradient(top, #eae0c2 5%, #ccc2a6 100%);
background:-o-linear-gradient(top, #eae0c2 5%, #ccc2a6 100%);
background:-ms-linear-gradient(top, #eae0c2 5%, #ccc2a6 100%);
background:linear-gradient(to bottom, #eae0c2 5%, #ccc2a6 100%);
filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient(startColorstr='#eae0c2', endColorstr='#ccc2a6',GradientType=0);
background-color:#eae0c2;
-moz-border-radius:15px;
-webkit-border-radius:15px;
border-radius:15px;
border:2px solid #333029;
display:inline-block;
cursor:pointer;
color:#505739;
font-family:Arial;
font-size:14px;
font-weight:bold;
padding:12px 16px;
text-decoration:none;
text-shadow:0px 1px 0px #ffffff;
}
.myButton:hover {
background:-webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0.05, #ccc2a6), color-stop(1, #eae0c2));
background:-moz-linear-gradient(top, #ccc2a6 5%, #eae0c2 100%);
background:-webkit-linear-gradient(top, #ccc2a6 5%, #eae0c2 100%);
background:-o-linear-gradient(top, #ccc2a6 5%, #eae0c2 100%);
background:-ms-linear-gradient(top, #ccc2a6 5%, #eae0c2 100%);
background:linear-gradient(to bottom, #ccc2a6 5%, #eae0c2 100%);
filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient(startColorstr='#ccc2a6', endColorstr='#eae0c2',GradientType=0);
background-color:#ccc2a6;
}
.myButton:active {
position:relative;
top:1px;
}


body{
background: #D1913C;
background: -webkit-linear-gradient(to right, #D1913C, #FFD194);
background: linear-gradient(to right, #D1913C, #FFD194);
/*background: #FFAFBD;
background: -webkit-linear-gradient(to left, #FFAFBD , #ffc3a0);
background: linear-gradient(to left, #FFAFBD , #ffc3a0);*/
 } 

<script src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/3.1.1/jquery.min.js"></script>

  <link rel="shortcut icon" type="image/png" href="http://thefavicongallery.com/g/o/gotcancer.org.ico"/>
<div id="reels">
  <div>X</div>
  <div>I</div>
  <div class="end-of-word">R</div>
  <div>C</div>
  <div>I</div>
  <div>E</div>
  <div>V</div>
  <div class="end-of-word">W</div>
  <div>W</div>
  <div>X</div>
  <div>E</div>
  <div>G</div>
  <div>O</div>
  <div>S</div>
  <div>Z</div>
  <div>I</div>
  <div>V</div>
  <div>J</div>
  <div>P</div>
  <div>S</div>
  <div class="end-of-word">A</div>
</div>
<p id="puzzle">Minimum pH of feta cheese = ?   <input style="width: 60px;" step="0.1" type="number" id="answer" placeholder="Answer" maxlength="3"><br></p>
<a href="#" id="slide" class="myButton">OK, check!</a>

Ok, you moved our cheese. Let's get it back.

I start with a simple SQL query:

SELECT Id AS [Post Link], Body, PostTypeId, 'Body' AS RelField
  FROM Posts
  WHERE Body LIKE '%[Cc]heese%'

UNION

SELECT Id AS [Post Link], Title, PostTypeId, 'Title' AS RelField
  FROM Posts
  WHERE Title LIKE '%[Cc]heese%'

This gives all posts containing cheese. (currently 89 on MSE)

Let's continue by adding some fluff:

SELECT Id AS [Post Link], Body, PostTypeId, 'Body' AS RelField
  FROM Posts
  WHERE Body LIKE '%[Cc]heese%' AND 1=1 AND 2=2 AND 'Cheese'='Cheese' AND 3=3 AND 'cheese'='cheese' AND 'fhc'='fhc' AND 'Jon Skeet'='Jon Skeet' AND 42=42 AND 0<1 AND 1>0 AND 'StackOverflow'!='Evil'

UNION

SELECT Id AS [Post Link], Title, PostTypeId, 'Title' AS RelField
  FROM Posts
  WHERE Title LIKE '%[Cc]heese%' AND 1=1 AND 2=2 AND 'Cheese'='Cheese' AND 3=3 AND 'cheese'='cheese' AND 'fhc'='fhc' AND 'Jon Skeet'='Jon Skeet' AND 42=42 AND 0<1 AND 1>0 AND 'StackOverflow'!='Evil'

If we format this then appropriate:

                          SELECT
                 Id AS [Post Link], Body,
      PostTypeId, 'Body' AS RelField FROM Posts
WHERE Body LIKE '%[Cc]heese%' AND 1=1 AND 2=2 AND
-- ------------------------------------------------
'Cheese'='Cheese' AND 3=3 AND 'cheese'='cheese' AND
 'fhc'='fhc' AND 'Jon Skeet'='Jon Skeet' AND 42=42
AND 0<1 AND 1>0 AND 'StackOverflow'!='Evil'  UNION
SELECT Id AS [Post Link], Title, PostTypeId, 'Title'
AS RelField FROM Posts WHERE Title LIKE '%[Cc]hee'+
'se%' AND 1=1 AND 2=2 AND 'Cheese'='Cheese' AND 3=3
AND 'cheese'='cheese' AND 'fhc'='fhc' AND 'Jon Skeet'
='Jon Skeet' AND 42=42 AND 0<1 AND 1>0 AND'Stack'+
'Overflow'!='Evil' AND 2=2 AND 1=1 AND 3=3 AND 1=1

You recognize this?:

🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀

_{On SEDE: https://data.stackexchange.com/meta.stackexchange/query/edit/909117}

The unicorn did it.

The question title asked "Who cut the cheese?" and, well, it looks like the unicorn did.

Attribution:

• Unicorn image from Meta StackExchange by Spontifixus
• Knife image from Meta StackExchange by Tim Post
• Cheese image by Coyau / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 3.0

I thought I'd let the image speak for itself, but I have to add ... this was imagined, designed, and printed by me on my Anet A8 3D printer using PLA filament.

Which begs the question ... Who did cut the cheese?

If you consider you have to use a slicer to get the g-code (cura in this case),
well I guess you could say I did.

404 Cheese Not Found

I came home as usual, ready to make a nice dinner -- but no! My kitchen was undergoing a food emergency! That essential ingredient to accompany my nice bottle of Pinot Grigio was gone!

Two slices of Provolone -- not nearly enough for a meal! Somebody moved my cheese! The cat wasn't talking, so I was going to have to hunt it down myself.

I found a single slice taunting me, daring me to find its compatriots. Game on.

(This is low-end actual cheese but not "cheese product". This caused some discussion in the comments.)

Another slice had fled to the office, only to be caught by my attack-stapler. Nobody messes with my stapler!

Or my hat. Sheesh.

I'm not sure what the cottage cheese was thinking. And no, it wasn't a very satisfying game of Bananagrams. Cheese can't spell.

The Romano gets points for trying, but burrowing isn't its strong suit.

But oh, the cream cheese -- kraftiest of all, it seems! I haven't touched that box since spring!

The search continued, until finally I'd found all my cheese again.

Wait. Where's the Jarlsberg?

Never mind. I'm gonna have dinner. And wine. At some point you just have to let cheese go free, y'know?

STACK EXCHANGE EXPLAINED: with CHEESE!

(Or maybe it is "Cheese explained with Stack Exchange", I don't know...)

Stack Overflow:

Cheese
   Wensleydale (Swiss Happy Anniversary, Stack Exchange!Swiss) Brie
NoCheese

(As one of the other answers mentioned, Cheese ++ is an esoteric language.)

Life Hacks:

Arqade:

IT FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION

Skeptics:

And men never reached it...

Mathematics:

Arts & Craft:

SharePoint:

(Yes, SharePoint is moldy, filled with bugs, unsafe to eat and probably illegal in most countries.)

Want more? Check here!!

Ever seen one of those "which breed of dog/Harry Potter character/programming language would you be" personality quizzes?

I decided to give a cheese-focused quiz to the Stack Exchange sites. (Well, not all the sites. Just the 15 at the top of the list of sites, and a handful of others.) Here are the results:

Stack Overflow
Feta
It is, after all, the oldest cheese (or, at least, the closest modern equivalent).

Mathematics
Mozzarella
One of the world's most popular, yet not talked about much. Also, often associated with pizza.

Stack Overflow in Russian
Коралл
'cause it's Russian, see?

Ubuntu
Pepper Jack
A popular, friendly introduction to something out of the mainstream.

Stack Overflow in Spanish
Manchego
And this one's Spanish.

Super User
Cottage cheese
Like Stack Overf—um, I mean, feta—it's one of the earliest cheese types.

Stack Overflow in Portuguese
Requeijão
Brazilian and Portuguese. C'mon, keep up.

Stats
Gouda
Nice enough, if kinda mild.

Physics
Edam
Pretty cool, for those who know enough to get past the outer shell.

Unix & Linux
Five-cheese blend
Kind of a mixture of multiple similar topics.

Server Fault
Domiati
An early variant again... and a bit of a salty one.

Electrical Engineering
Cheddar
Often feels extra sharp.

Geographic Information Systems
Blue cheese
What really makes this special and distinctive from other cheeses/sites? An emphasis on sticking pins in things.

Magento
Pecorino Romano
Useful for making other things better, but not exactly a cheese people are enjoying mouthfuls of on its own. (See also Worldbuilding, below.)

TeX and LaTeX
Provel
Kind of a specialty. People who like it tend to be really into it.

English Language & Usage
Neufchâtel
A relatively old style; it's got a reputation for elitism in some circles.

Apple
Gorgonzola
Great with apples. If you don't have apples, maybe don't bother with this one.

English Language Learners
Cream cheese
Covers territory originally owned by Neufchâtel/EL&U, but has evolved into its own distinct entity.

MathOverflow
American
Cue semantics argument over whether this entry is technically qualified/eligible to be on the list.

Blender
Queijo Computadorizado de Duarte
Take a moment to be amazed at what is clearly the best answer to this question. It's so awesome I don't even care that I'm giving free advertising to a competitor.

SharePoint
Government cheese
Whether deservedly or not, it's got some negative connotations.

Code Review
Muenster
Very pleasant, and can be applied in a wide variety of situations. Adding even just a little bit of this will greatly improve pretty much anything.

Travel
Paneer
Somehow, it seems foreign and accessible at the same time.

Home Improvement
Parmigiano-Reggiano
A bit rough around the edges, but overall, it's solid.

Science Fiction and Fantasy
Pimiento cheese
A fun cheese, if a little too spicy at times.

Software Engineering
Emmentaler
Better known to many by another name. (Never forget Programmers SE! (Or, for the true OGs, Not Programming Related.))

Role-Playing Games
Colby Jack
A blend of two different groups (sorry, couldn't figure out how to work in a literal RAW vs. unpasteurized joke), but they work together well.

Stack Overflow in Japanese
Sakura
A cheese from Japan. Seriously, you haven't figured out how this works yet?

Worldbuilding
Nacho cheese
This is just for fun for most people, but for a few, it's a livelihood. (Kinda the opposite of Magento.)

Arqade
Skyrim goat cheese wheel
Started out as an unremarkable component of a larger, established franchise, and quickly turned into an Internet phenomenon (for example).

Puzzling
Bergkäse
Hard and nutty.

Mi Yodeya
Non-animal-rennet cheese
Are you kosher, but still want to have your cake cheese and eat it too? This is for you.

Seasoned Advice
Époisses de Bourgogne
Has the quality demanded by epicures, yet is accessible enough for all.

Photography
Blue Stilton
Meets all the usual criteria, and looks real good doing it, too.

Interpersonal Skills
Milbenkäse
It's debatable how many people are legitimately interested in this and how many just want to gawk at a pile of excrement. Nevertheless, if the stories are to be believed, it could solve some real problems.

Arts & Crafts
Cotija
Okay, this doesn't really have anything to do with A&C, I just wanted to make the easy Catija joke.

Community Building
Lymeswold
It sounded like a great idea on paper, but it's pretty much died off.

Veganism & Vegetarianism
Non-dairy cheese
Not yet mature, and rarely used.

Meta Stack Exchange
Vieux Boulogne
Really off-putting at first, but it does have a small, devoted—one might say "cult-like"—following.

If we got some cheese every time we received an upvote, Jon Skeet:

Sorry for bad photo editing.

Over at RPGSE we maintain a cheese hall of fame. This is a curated list of the cheesiest answers seen on site, including:

• catnapping for an arbitrary number of spell slots
• maximum attainable beard thickness, and
• Chuck E. Cheese, D&D3.5's fastest character. (Superluminal, at that.)

This community has created some of the finest internet-transmissible cheese out there.

I propose that RPGSE as a whole be awarded a cheese board which we will time-share monthly among the top twelve cheese-posters on site, as ranked in our cheese hall of fame.

Little did I know how appropriate this stack of cheddar slices I made a few days ago would be now!

Enjoy! <3

Needless to say: marmots love cheese. (This is taken from here and done with a typesetting system that is often said to be only good for equations. The spurious black lines in the holes come from the conversion to an animated gif, and are not there on the pdf file that gets created when the following code gets compiled with pdflatex.)

\documentclass[tikz,border=3.14mm]{standalone}
\usetikzlibrary{3d}
\usepackage{tikz-3dplot}
\makeatletter % https://tex.stackexchange.com/a/48776/121799
\tikzoption{canvas is xy plane at z}[]{%
  \def\tikz@plane@origin{\pgfpointxyz{0}{0}{#1}}%
  \def\tikz@plane@x{\pgfpointxyz{1}{0}{#1}}%
  \def\tikz@plane@y{\pgfpointxyz{0}{1}{#1}}%
  \tikz@canvas@is@plane
}
\makeatother
\newcommand{\DrawVerticalPart}[3][]{%
\draw[fill=yellow!30!orange,#1]
plot[variable=\x,domain=#2:#3,samples=30,smooth] 
({4*cos(\x)},{4*sin(\x)},0) -- ++(0,0,2)  --
plot[variable=\x,domain=#3:#2,samples=30,smooth] 
({4*cos(\x)},{4*sin(\x)},2) --cycle;
}
\newcommand{\CheesePiece}[1]{\ifcase#1
\or% 1: xz face
\begin{scope}[canvas is xz plane at y=0,transform shape]
\filldraw[fill=yellow!80!orange] (4,2) -- (4,0) --(0,0) -- (0,2) -- cycle;
\foreach \x/\y/\r in {0.4/0.6/0.3, 
0.5/1.3/0.2,
1.5/0.5/0.4,
1.5/0.5/0.4, 
2.1/1.5/0.3,
2.5/0.8/0.2, 
3.3/1.1/0.3}
{\shade[ball color=yellow!80!orange,opacity=0.2] (\x,\y) circle (\r);}
\end{scope}
\or% 2: yz face 
\begin{scope}[canvas is yz plane at x=0,transform shape]
\filldraw[fill=yellow!80!orange] (-4,2) -- (-4,0) --(0,0) -- (0,2) -- cycle;
\foreach \x/\y/\r in {-0.4/0.6/0.3, 
-0.5/1.3/0.2,
-1.5/0.5/0.4,
-1.5/0.5/0.4, 
-2.1/1.5/0.3,
-2.5/0.8/0.2, 
-3.3/1.1/0.3}
{\shade[ball color=yellow!80!orange,opacity=0.2] (\x,\y) circle (\r);}
\end{scope}
\or% 3: top
\draw[fill=yellow!30!orange] plot[variable=\x,domain=0:270,samples=90,smooth] 
({4*cos(\x)},{4*sin(\x)},2) -- (0,-4,2) -- (0,0,2) -- (4,0,2);
\or% 4: bottom
\draw[fill=yellow!30!orange] plot[variable=\x,domain=0:270,samples=90,smooth] 
({4*cos(\x)},{4*sin(\x)},0) -- (0,-4,0) -- (0,0,0) -- (4,0,0);
\fi} 
\begin{document}
\foreach \X in {0,5,...,355}%{45,135,225,315} 
{%\tdplotsetmaincoords{120+20*sin(\X)}{-135+45*cos(2*\X)}
\tdplotsetmaincoords{90+30*sin(\X)}{\X}
\begin{tikzpicture}
\path[use as bounding box] (-6,-3) rectangle (6,5);
\pgfmathtruncatemacro{\xtest}{sign(cos(\tdplotmainphi+90))}
\pgfmathtruncatemacro{\ytest}{sign(-cos(\tdplotmainphi))}
\pgfmathtruncatemacro{\ztest}{sign(cos(\tdplotmaintheta))}
%\node[anchor=north west] at (-6,5) {\X,\xtest,\ytest,\ztest};
\begin{scope}[tdplot_main_coords]
\ifnum\xtest=1
  \CheesePiece{2}
  \ifnum\ytest=1
    \CheesePiece{1}
    \DrawVerticalPart{0}{\tdplotmainphi-180}
    \DrawVerticalPart{\tdplotmainphi}{270}
  \else
    \DrawVerticalPart{0}{\tdplotmainphi-180}
  \fi
\else
  \ifnum\ytest=1
    \CheesePiece{1}
    \DrawVerticalPart{\tdplotmainphi}{270}
  \else
    \DrawVerticalPart{\tdplotmainphi}{\tdplotmainphi+180}
  \fi
\fi
\ifnum\ztest=1
\CheesePiece{4}
\else
\CheesePiece{3}
\fi
\end{scope}
\end{tikzpicture}}
\end{document}

2018: Catija Hired, Election Experimenting, Stack Exchange!

2017: Cake Hat, Exact-dupe Edits, Stack Exchange!

Come now, think of all the years of SE's life.
Helping people here has many benefits:
Every time your post is useful, rep you'll have.
Experts sharing with their peers their facts and knowledge:
So the system works, and so SE can flourish.
Excels in what it does, so each site gets good traffic.

2008: Creating History: Experts Exchange -> Stack Exchange!

• What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?

  Hallo, me!

• What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?

  Come on, bear!

• How do you eat Welsh cheese?

  Carefully.

Cantal me answer?

I don't know what ha Bandal websites affected - Google, Reddit, Youtube, Twitter, Wikipedia.

What Colby problem?

Chz help.

Tommes in advance.

Want this amazing experience for yourself?

Download the font, install it, create a user script with the below, and enjoy the new Stack Exchange.

// ==UserScript==
// @name         Cheese!
// @version      0.1
// @author       Me
// @match         *://stackoverflow.com/*
// @match         *://meta.stackoverflow.com/*
// @match         *://superuser.com/*
// @match         *://meta.superuser.com/*
// @match         *://serverfault.com/*
// @match         *://meta.serverfault.com/*
// @match         *://askubuntu.com/*
// @match         *://meta.askubuntu.com/*
// @match         *://stackapps.com/*
// @match         *://*.stackexchange.com/*
// @exclude       *://api.*.stackexchange.com/*
// ==/UserScript==

var cheese_url = "https://isitbadforyou.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/article/pictures/798/big_is_swiss_cheese_bad_for_you..jpg";

var elements = document.getElementsByTagName('svg');
for (var i = 0; i < elements.length; i++) {
    try {
        var img = document.createElement("img");
        img.src = cheese_url;
        img.width = elements[i].getBBox().width;
        img.height = elements[i].getBBox().height;
        elements[i].remove();
        elements[i].parentNode.appendChild(img);
        i--;
    } catch (Exception) {}
}

var style = document.createElement("style");
style.appendChild(document.createTextNode("body *, body{font-family: Cheese !important;}"));
style.appendChild(document.createTextNode("div.favicon, div.image, span.badge1, span.badge2, span.badge3, svg {content:url("+cheese_url+");}"));
style.appendChild(document.createTextNode("span.-img {content:url("+cheese_url+");}"));
document.head.appendChild(style);

var images = document.getElementsByTagName('img');
for (var j = 0; j < images.length; j++) {
    var sImage = images[j];
    var href = sImage.getAttribute('src');
    sImage.setAttribute("src", cheese_url);
}

Do you want to taste this Delicious Cheese Cake?

This cheese cake is generated via below CSS & HTML. Run it, try it, & upvote it! ;)

@import url("https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Khula:400,700,800|Lilita+One|Rammetto+One|Seymour+One");
* {
  box-sizing: content-box;
  text-align: center;
}

html,
body {
  width: 100%;
  height: 100%;
  overflow: hidden;
  background: plum;
}

div {
  position: absolute;
}

div:before,
div:after {
  content: "";
  position: absolute;
}

.ctnr {
  top: 0;
  left: 0;
  bottom: 0;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  overflow: hidden;
  text-align: center;
  height: 450px;
  width: 600px;
}

.cake {
  left: 0;
  bottom: 0;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  background: radial-gradient(ellipse at center, #ab6eab 60%, #dda0dd 70%);
  height: 165px;
  width: 600px;
  -moz-border-radius: 100%;
  -webkit-border-radius: 100%;
  border-radius: 100%;
}

.plate {
  left: 0;
  bottom: 20px;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  background: #F2DAF0;
  height: 150px;
  width: 550px;
  -moz-border-radius: 100%;
  -webkit-border-radius: 100%;
  border-radius: 100%;
  -moz-box-shadow: inset 0 0 0 1px #d9c1d7, 0 6px 0 0 #c0a8be;
  -webkit-box-shadow: inset 0 0 0 1px #d9c1d7, 0 6px 0 0 #c0a8be;
  box-shadow: inset 0 0 0 1px #d9c1d7, 0 6px 0 0 #c0a8be;
}

.plate:after {
  top: 30px;
  left: 0;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  background: #F2DAF0;
  height: 80px;
  width: 395px;
  -moz-border-radius: 100%;
  -webkit-border-radius: 100%;
  border-radius: 100%;
  -moz-box-shadow: inset 0 0 0 1px #e3cbe1, inset -2px 0 0 0 #c0a8be, inset -2px 3px 0 0 #c0a8be, inset 0 3px 0 0 #c0a8be;
  -webkit-box-shadow: inset 0 0 0 1px #e3cbe1, inset -2px 0 0 0 #c0a8be, inset -2px 3px 0 0 #c0a8be, inset 0 3px 0 0 #c0a8be;
  box-shadow: inset 0 0 0 1px #e3cbe1, inset -2px 0 0 0 #c0a8be, inset -2px 3px 0 0 #c0a8be, inset 0 3px 0 0 #c0a8be;
}

.crust {
  left: 0;
  bottom: 90px;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  background: #E5AC72;
  height: 20px;
  width: 300px;
  -moz-border-radius: 0 0 0 4px;
  -webkit-border-radius: 0;
  border-radius: 0 0 0 4px;
  -moz-box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #c78e54, inset 5px -3px #c78e54;
  -webkit-box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #c78e54, inset 5px -3px #c78e54;
  box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #c78e54, inset 5px -3px #c78e54;
}

.crust:after {
  top: 2px;
  left: 10px;
  background: #d1985e;
  height: 5px;
  width: 5px;
  -moz-border-radius: 5px;
  -webkit-border-radius: 5px;
  border-radius: 5px;
  -moz-box-shadow: 10px 6px #c78e54, 16px 2px #d69d63, 30px 1px #cc9359, 35px 4px #c78e54, 50px 7px #d1985e, 65px 2px #c2894f, 85px 4px #bd844a, 90px 6px #b37a40, 90px 2px #d1985e, 110px 1px #d69d63, 115px 2px #c2894f, 130px 8px #b87f45, 150px 4px #c78e54, 160px 6px #b37a40, 180px 4px #d1985e, 200px 2px #d69d63, 230px 6px #c78e54, 235px 2px #bd844a, 240px 8px #d1985e, 260px 1px #b37a40, 275px 5px #c78e54;
  -webkit-box-shadow: 10px 6px #c78e54, 16px 2px #d69d63, 30px 1px #cc9359, 35px 4px #c78e54, 50px 7px #d1985e, 65px 2px #c2894f, 85px 4px #bd844a, 90px 6px #b37a40, 90px 2px #d1985e, 110px 1px #d69d63, 115px 2px #c2894f, 130px 8px #b87f45, 150px 4px #c78e54, 160px 6px #b37a40, 180px 4px #d1985e, 200px 2px #d69d63, 230px 6px #c78e54, 235px 2px #bd844a, 240px 8px #d1985e, 260px 1px #b37a40, 275px 5px #c78e54;
  box-shadow: 10px 6px #c78e54, 16px 2px #d69d63, 30px 1px #cc9359, 35px 4px #c78e54, 50px 7px #d1985e, 65px 2px #c2894f, 85px 4px #bd844a, 90px 6px #b37a40, 90px 2px #d1985e, 110px 1px #d69d63, 115px 2px #c2894f, 130px 8px #b87f45, 150px 4px #c78e54, 160px 6px #b37a40, 180px 4px #d1985e, 200px 2px #d69d63, 230px 6px #c78e54, 235px 2px #bd844a, 240px 8px #d1985e, 260px 1px #b37a40, 275px 5px #c78e54;
}


.filling {
  left: 0;
  bottom: 110px;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  background: #ffffc4;
  height: 100px;
  width: 300px;
  -moz-box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #ffff74, inset 0 -40px #ffff9c;
  -webkit-box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #ffff74, inset 0 -40px #ffff9c;
  box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #ffff74, inset 0 -40px #ffff9c;
}

.toping {
  left: 0;
  bottom: 210px;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  height: 50px;
  width: 300px;
}

.toping:before {
  left: 30px;
  bottom: -9px;
  background: linear-gradient(5deg, #f8576d 65%, #ff758b 65%);
  height: 50px;
  width: 270px;
  -moz-transform: rotate(4.5deg) skewx(-50deg);
  -ms-transform: rotate(4.5deg) skewx(-50deg);
  -webkit-transform: rotate(4.5deg) skewx(-50deg);
  transform: rotate(4.5deg) skewx(-50deg);
  -webkit-clip-path: polygon(0 0, 268px 24px, 270px 26px, 0 50px);
  clip-path: polygon(0 0, 268px 24px, 270px 26px, 0 50px);
  -moz-border-radius: 4px 0 0 0;
  -webkit-border-radius: 4px;
  border-radius: 4px 0 0 0;
  -moz-box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #e44359;
  -webkit-box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #e44359;
  box-shadow: inset 5px 0 #e44359;
}

.toping:after {
  left: 0;
  bottom: 0;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  background: linear-gradient(to right, #e44359, #ff758b 50%);
  height: 6px;
  width: 300px;
  z-index: 2;
  -moz-border-radius: 4px 0 0 0;
  -webkit-border-radius: 4px;
  border-radius: 4px 0 0 0;
  -moz-box-shadow: inset -2px 0 #ff758b, inset 5px 0 #d02f45, inset 0 -4px #e44359;
  -webkit-box-shadow: inset -2px 0 #ff758b, inset 5px 0 #d02f45, inset 0 -4px #e44359;
  box-shadow: inset -2px 0 #ff758b, inset 5px 0 #d02f45, inset 0 -4px #e44359;
}

.coulis {
  left: 185px;
  bottom: 218px;
  height: 26px;
  width: 105px;
  background: #8a0000;
  -moz-transform: skewy(1deg);
  -ms-transform: skewy(1deg);
  -webkit-transform: skewy(1deg);
  transform: skewy(1deg);
  -moz-border-radius: 100%;
  -webkit-border-radius: 100%;
  border-radius: 100%;
  -moz-box-shadow: inset 2px -2px #8a0000, inset 5px -2px #bc1b31, 0 2px #760000, inset -2px 1px #8a0000, inset -3px 3px #d02f45;
  -webkit-box-shadow: inset 2px -2px #8a0000, inset 5px -2px #bc1b31, 0 2px #760000, inset -2px 1px #8a0000, inset -3px 3px #d02f45;
  box-shadow: inset 2px -2px #8a0000, inset 5px -2px #bc1b31, 0 2px #760000, inset -2px 1px #8a0000, inset -3px 3px #d02f45;
}

.drips {
  background: #e44359;
  -moz-border-radius: 10px;
  -webkit-border-radius: 10px;
  border-radius: 10px;
  left: 160px;
  bottom: 202px;
  height: 13px;
  width: 10px;
  -moz-box-shadow: 0 4px #d02f45, 10px 0 #e44359, 10px 4px #e44359, 10px 8px #e44359, 10px 12px #e44359, 10px 16px #d02f45, 20px 0 #e44359, 20px 4px #e44359, 20px 8px #d02f45, 40px 0 #e44359, 40px 4px #d02f45, 120px 0 #e44359, 120px 4px #d02f45, 180px 0 #e44359, 180px 4px #d02f45, 190px 0 #e44359, 190px 4px #e44359, 190px 8px #e44359, 190px 12px #d02f45, 220px 0 #e44359, 220px 4px #d02f45, 258px 0 #e44359, 258px 4px #d02f45, 268px 0 #e44359, 268px 4px #e44359, 268px 8px #e44359, 268px 12px #e44359, 268px 16px #d02f45, 278px 0 #e44359, 278px 4px #d02f45, 280px 0 #ff758b, 280px 4px #ff758b;
  -webkit-box-shadow: 0 4px #d02f45, 10px 0 #e44359, 10px 4px #e44359, 10px 8px #e44359, 10px 12px #e44359, 10px 16px #d02f45, 20px 0 #e44359, 20px 4px #e44359, 20px 8px #d02f45, 40px 0 #e44359, 40px 4px #d02f45, 120px 0 #e44359, 120px 4px #d02f45, 180px 0 #e44359, 180px 4px #d02f45, 190px 0 #e44359, 190px 4px #e44359, 190px 8px #e44359, 190px 12px #d02f45, 220px 0 #e44359, 220px 4px #d02f45, 258px 0 #e44359, 258px 4px #d02f45, 268px 0 #e44359, 268px 4px #e44359, 268px 8px #e44359, 268px 12px #e44359, 268px 16px #d02f45, 278px 0 #e44359, 278px 4px #d02f45, 280px 0 #ff758b, 280px 4px #ff758b;
  box-shadow: 0 4px #d02f45, 10px 0 #e44359, 10px 4px #e44359, 10px 8px #e44359, 10px 12px #e44359, 10px 16px #d02f45, 20px 0 #e44359, 20px 4px #e44359, 20px 8px #d02f45, 40px 0 #e44359, 40px 4px #d02f45, 120px 0 #e44359, 120px 4px #d02f45, 180px 0 #e44359, 180px 4px #d02f45, 190px 0 #e44359, 190px 4px #e44359, 190px 8px #e44359, 190px 12px #d02f45, 220px 0 #e44359, 220px 4px #d02f45, 258px 0 #e44359, 258px 4px #d02f45, 268px 0 #e44359, 268px 4px #e44359, 268px 8px #e44359, 268px 12px #e44359, 268px 16px #d02f45, 278px 0 #e44359, 278px 4px #d02f45, 280px 0 #ff758b, 280px 4px #ff758b;
}

.lemon {
  left: 200px;
  bottom: 230px;
  background: radial-gradient(circle at center bottom, #ffff7e 58%, #ffffb0 58%, #ffffb0 65%, #ffff6a 65%);
  height: 37px;
  width: 75px;
  -moz-transform: skew(-4deg, 4deg);
  -ms-transform: skew(-4deg, 4deg);
  -webkit-transform: skew(-4deg, 4deg);
  transform: skew(-4deg, 4deg);
  -moz-border-radius: 100px 100px 0 0;
  -webkit-border-radius: 100px;
  border-radius: 100px 100px 0 0;
  -moz-box-shadow: 1px 0 #FFFC4C, 2px -1px #FFFC4C, 3px -2px #FFFC4C, 4px -3px #FFFC4C, 5px -4px #FFFC4C;
  -webkit-box-shadow: 1px 0 #FFFC4C, 2px -1px #FFFC4C, 3px -2px #FFFC4C, 4px -3px #FFFC4C, 5px -4px #FFFC4C;
  box-shadow: 1px 0 #FFFC4C, 2px -1px #FFFC4C, 3px -2px #FFFC4C, 4px -3px #FFFC4C, 5px -4px #FFFC4C;
}

.lemon:after {
  left: 0;
  bottom: 10px;
  right: 0;
  margin: auto;
  height: 40px;
  width: 40px;
  -moz-transform: scalex(0.75) rotate(45deg);
  -ms-transform: scalex(0.75) rotate(45deg);
  -webkit-transform: scalex(0.75) rotate(45deg);
  transform: scalex(0.75) rotate(45deg);
  -moz-box-shadow: 4px 4px #ffffb0;
  -webkit-box-shadow: 4px 4px #ffffb0;
  box-shadow: 4px 4px #ffffb0;
}

raspberry,
.rasberries:before,
.rasberries:after {
  background: #B21127;
  height: 8px;
  width: 8px;
  -moz-border-radius: 5px;
  -webkit-border-radius: 5px;
  border-radius: 5px;
  -moz-box-shadow: 0 -2px #e44359, 1px -1px #e44359, 6px 0 #B21127, 6px -2px #e44359, 7px -1px #e44359, 12px 0 #B21127, 12px -2px #e44359, 13px -1px #e44359, -6px 0 #B21127, -6px -2px #e44359, -5px -1px #e44359, -12px 0 #B21127, -12px -2px #e44359, -11px -1px #e44359, 0 -8px #B21127, 0 -10px #e44359, 1px -9px #e44359, 7px -8px #B21127, 7px -10px #e44359, 8px -9px #e44359, 0 -8px #B21127, 0 -10px #e44359, 1px -9px #e44359, -7px -8px #B21127, -7px -10px #e44359, -6px -9px #e44359, -12px -8px #B21127, -12px -10px #e44359, -11px -9px #e44359, 12px -8px #B21127, 12px -10px #e44359, 13px -9px #e44359, 3px -15px #B21127, 3px -17px #e44359, 4px -16px #e44359, 9px -15px #B21127, 9px -17px #e44359, 10px -16px #e44359, -3px -15px #B21127, -3px -17px #e44359, -2px -16px #e44359, -9px -15px #B21127, -9px -17px #e44359, -8px -16px #e44359, 4px -22px #B21127, 4px -24px #e44359, 5px -23px #e44359, -3px -21px #B21127, -3px -23px #e44359, -2px -22px #e44359;
  -webkit-box-shadow: 0 -2px #e44359, 1px -1px #e44359, 6px 0 #B21127, 6px -2px #e44359, 7px -1px #e44359, 12px 0 #B21127, 12px -2px #e44359, 13px -1px #e44359, -6px 0 #B21127, -6px -2px #e44359, -5px -1px #e44359, -12px 0 #B21127, -12px -2px #e44359, -11px -1px #e44359, 0 -8px #B21127, 0 -10px #e44359, 1px -9px #e44359, 7px -8px #B21127, 7px -10px #e44359, 8px -9px #e44359, 0 -8px #B21127, 0 -10px #e44359, 1px -9px #e44359, -7px -8px #B21127, -7px -10px #e44359, -6px -9px #e44359, -12px -8px #B21127, -12px -10px #e44359, -11px -9px #e44359, 12px -8px #B21127, 12px -10px #e44359, 13px -9px #e44359, 3px -15px #B21127, 3px -17px #e44359, 4px -16px #e44359, 9px -15px #B21127, 9px -17px #e44359, 10px -16px #e44359, -3px -15px #B21127, -3px -17px #e44359, -2px -16px #e44359, -9px -15px #B21127, -9px -17px #e44359, -8px -16px #e44359, 4px -22px #B21127, 4px -24px #e44359, 5px -23px #e44359, -3px -21px #B21127, -3px -23px #e44359, -2px -22px #e44359;
  box-shadow: 0 -2px #e44359, 1px -1px #e44359, 6px 0 #B21127, 6px -2px #e44359, 7px -1px #e44359, 12px 0 #B21127, 12px -2px #e44359, 13px -1px #e44359, -6px 0 #B21127, -6px -2px #e44359, -5px -1px #e44359, -12px 0 #B21127, -12px -2px #e44359, -11px -1px #e44359, 0 -8px #B21127, 0 -10px #e44359, 1px -9px #e44359, 7px -8px #B21127, 7px -10px #e44359, 8px -9px #e44359, 0 -8px #B21127, 0 -10px #e44359, 1px -9px #e44359, -7px -8px #B21127, -7px -10px #e44359, -6px -9px #e44359, -12px -8px #B21127, -12px -10px #e44359, -11px -9px #e44359, 12px -8px #B21127, 12px -10px #e44359, 13px -9px #e44359, 3px -15px #B21127, 3px -17px #e44359, 4px -16px #e44359, 9px -15px #B21127, 9px -17px #e44359, 10px -16px #e44359, -3px -15px #B21127, -3px -17px #e44359, -2px -16px #e44359, -9px -15px #B21127, -9px -17px #e44359, -8px -16px #e44359, 4px -22px #B21127, 4px -24px #e44359, 5px -23px #e44359, -3px -21px #B21127, -3px -23px #e44359, -2px -22px #e44359;
}

.rasberries {
  left: 220px;
  bottom: 250px;
  height: 5px;
  width: 5px;
  -moz-border-radius: 5px;
  -webkit-border-radius: 5px;
  border-radius: 5px;
  -moz-box-shadow: -42px 27px #c6253b, -24px 34px #df3e54, 66px 34px #da394f, 76px 21px #c6253b, 80px 30px #d5344a, 90px 16px #da394f, 95px 30px #e44359, 100px 19px #df3e54, 110px 24px #cb2a40, 125px 32px #da394f, 135px 26px #d02f45, 145px 30px #c6253b, 155px 28px #e44359, 170px 32px #cb2a40, 185px 33px #da394f;
  -webkit-box-shadow: -42px 27px #c6253b, -24px 34px #df3e54, 66px 34px #da394f, 76px 21px #c6253b, 80px 30px #d5344a, 90px 16px #da394f, 95px 30px #e44359, 100px 19px #df3e54, 110px 24px #cb2a40, 125px 32px #da394f, 135px 26px #d02f45, 145px 30px #c6253b, 155px 28px #e44359, 170px 32px #cb2a40, 185px 33px #da394f;
  box-shadow: -42px 27px #c6253b, -24px 34px #df3e54, 66px 34px #da394f, 76px 21px #c6253b, 80px 30px #d5344a, 90px 16px #da394f, 95px 30px #e44359, 100px 19px #df3e54, 110px 24px #cb2a40, 125px 32px #da394f, 135px 26px #d02f45, 145px 30px #c6253b, 155px 28px #e44359, 170px 32px #cb2a40, 185px 33px #da394f;
}

.rasberries:before {
  left: 2px;
  bottom: -25px;
  -moz-transform: scale(0.8) rotate(2deg) skewx(-5deg);
  -ms-transform: scale(0.8) rotate(2deg) skewx(-5deg);
  -webkit-transform: scale(0.8) rotate(2deg) skewx(-5deg);
  transform: scale(0.8) rotate(2deg) skewx(-5deg);
}

.rasberries:after {
  left: 25px;
  bottom: -26px;
  -moz-transform: scale(0.7) rotate(-2deg) skewx(-5deg);
  -ms-transform: scale(0.7) rotate(-2deg) skewx(-5deg);
  -webkit-transform: scale(0.7) rotate(-2deg) skewx(-5deg);
  transform: scale(0.7) rotate(-2deg) skewx(-5deg);
}

<div class="ctnr">
  <div class="cake">
    <div class="plate"></div>
    <div class="crust"></div>
    <div class="filling"></div>
    <div class="toping"></div>
    <div class="coulis"></div>
    <div class="drips"></div>
    <div class="lemon"></div>
    <div class="rasberries"></div>
  </div>
</div>

_{Credit goes to Mr. Salix Dubois for sharing this CSS on CodePen}.

Now I'm not expecting to win one of the top 25 spots, because we all know the fastest gun in the west gets the cheese.
However I've decided to throw my hat in the ring. (Wait did I say hat?... cheese, cheese stay focused here.)

I give you a unicorn thinking of cheese. SE has a long history with unicorns.

Because my mind is always on the bash _⁽⁾ here is a history of cheese through the winter bashes.

• 2012 Cheddarhead "answer score 10+"
• 2014 30 minutes or less (it has cheese on it) "get 5 answers in 30 minutes"
• 2016 A real hat featured in the promotional video, multiple times.
• 2017 Extra toppings (really it's a cheese pizza) "answer +3 a question with accepted answer"