How to Choose the Right Partner According to Psychoanalysis
Science reveals why we have to be more rational in love
We’re often given little to no guidance when choosing a partner, so we tend to leave it to our feelings. Today more and more Psychoanalysis studies reveal that feelings of attraction and aversion stem from complicated experiences we had when our brains were too young and immature to rationalize our experiences. So they linger in the chambers of our unconscious mind forming a part of our identity.
This means we may have been so traumatized by a parent that we cannot stand such qualities in a potential suitor. We might be intolerant of anyone beautiful, punctual, or nerdy simply because they were traits of one who caused us difficulty and pain in our early lives.
On paper we may like someone who’s intelligence, charming, and generous. But again, we may be fatefully drawn to those who are emotionally neglectful, those who treat us with disdain, or those who’re often absent and avoidant.
However paradoxical it may be, without these strong feelings of attraction and aversion, we may not feel passionate or tender towards someone. So it serves us in a way.
To choose life partners wisely, we need to be aware of how our traumas and compulsions to suffering may…
