What do I do will allah forgive me? And is this Kufr

Question

Assalamu Alaikum

I am 15 year old boy who has found the path and guidance of Allah SWT, The exalted, most gracious, most merciful. I have been trying my best to stay away from anything considered haram noted in hadiths and the noble Quran; however recently while recalling some of my past behaviours ranging from 2-3 years ago, I remember in multiple fits of rage I insulted and reviled Allah SWT. I am currently in deep regret and despair, as some point out that in doing this throws you out the folds of islam, and Im scared that Allah SWT will never forgive me for this, as in doing this for puts me as an apostate of islam. I have already repeated my shahada on multiple accounts, performed ghusl, and prayed salat-al-tawbah in sincere repentance. Is this Kufr, and will this be forgiven. Astagfurallah.

Allah knows best.

Answer 1

Wa Alaykum Al Salam Wa Rahmut Allah Wa Barakatuh. Brother we all have done bad things in the past, no human is sin-free after the Prophet ﷺ. And as the Prophet ﷺ said: "All the sons of Adam are sinners, and the best of the sinners are those who repent". So never give up on The Mercy of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'la, he is the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful. And Al Hamdulilah, that you're coming back to your senses; making sincere tawba is a good sign, because without Allah's Guidance, you wouldn't have even thought of this, so Al Hamdulilah!

Moreover, you stating that you stay away from whatever is Haram (from Hadiths or Quran) is also a good sign of repentance, as Allah mentioned in His Mighty Quran: "And they say, “We hear and obey. ˹We seek˺ Your forgiveness, our Lord! And to You ˹alone˺ is the final return.”

Finally, I would recommend staying steadfast on your 5 daily prayers as they are your path to success in this life and the hereafter, and don't recall the past, but focus on the current and future, and remember that our Lord said: "...Allah has pardoned what is past; but whoever returns [to violation], then Allah will take retribution from him. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Owner of Retribution."