Karan Johar recalls being mocked for being effeminate since 3, felt he failed as a son: ‘Even in moments of intimacy, I put out the lights’

Karan admitted to keeping his struggles to himself, finding solace in books and movies. He recounted a painful memory from a talent competition at age three where he danced, only to face ridicule from some attendees. He said, “There was this talent competition and everyone was performing, and I did a dance. I could tell that some people were sneering and laughing and my mother was in the audience. I remember going to the house, closing the door and crying thinking, ‘ Why can’t I be like other boys.'”

In college, Karan faced a new kind of pressure to fit in and took voice modulation classes to enhance his confidence. “I was battling body image issues and joined a public speaking class,” he explained. “There was a gentleman there who told me that I had an effeminate voice and that it isn’t going to be easy in life for me. He sent me to a class that would bring some kind of baritone in my voice. All this time, I was telling my dad that I was going for computer classes because I didn’t want to tell them that this is what I was going to do.”

Reflecting on his ongoing struggles with body dysmorphia, Karan admitted feeling uncomfortable in certain situations till date , “I have body dysmorphia. I am very awkward getting into a pool. I don’t know how to do it without feeling pathetic. I try hard to overcome it. I always wear oversized clothes.” He added, “Even in moments of intimacy I put the lights out.”