How do you say when you are NOT doing anything wrong, but you are part of it by not pointing out the crime/situation....
e.g.: You are married to your wife and she starts to get fatter....the fatter she gets, the sadder you became ....and you do not say anything about it so you are ___________.
The word missing is the one I need.
In portuguese we have the word
"Conivente"
which fits perfectly.
However, in English I am not sure about what to use.
Even though you are NOT doing anything wrong but NOT pointing out the crime/situation, as you say, does make you a conniver.
Also according to MW:
1 : to pretend ignorance of or fail to take action against something one ought to oppose
Eg:
The government connived in the rebels' military buildup.
The principal connived at all the school absences that were recorded on the day of the city's celebration of its Super Bowl victory
Rather than a single word, the common expression "turning a blind eye" would suit this situation.
From the Free Dictionary, "turning a blind eye":
To ignore something and pretend you do not see it. How can you turn a blind eye to all those starving children?
To choose to ignore behaviour that you know is wrong. I knew Hugo was taking the money but I turned a blind eye because he was my sister's child. (often + to ) Management often turn a blind eye to bullying in the workplace.
You are acquiescing. That is, you are tacitly approving or otherwise permitting the inference of consent absent explicit objection.
e.g.
The parents became accessory to the murder, when they helped their son escape the country.
....the fatter she gets, the sadder you became ....and you do not say anything about it, and so you are an accessory to her ill-health. You are accessorial to her ill-health.
ac·ces·so·ry (ăk-sĕs′ə-rē) n. pl. ac·ces·so·ries
[Middle English accessorie, from Medieval Latin accessōrius, from accessor, helper, from Latin accessus, approach; see access.]
ac′ces·so′ri·al (-sə-sôr′ē-əl) adj.
ac·ces′so·ri·ly adv.
Usage Note: Although the pronunciation (ə-sĕs′ə-rē), with no (k) sound in the first syllable, is sometimes heard, it is not accepted by a majority of the Usage Panel. In the 1997 survey, 87 percent of the Panelists disapproved of it. The 2012 survey showed an 80 percent disapproval rate.
American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
Synonyms:
accessory
nounGiving or able to give help or support: ancillary, assistant, auxiliary, collateral, contributory, subsidiary, supportive.
The American Heritage® Roget's Thesaurus. Copyright © 2013, 2014 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
You're complicit by omission.
An example from the Washington Post:
Other Republican leaders remain mostly silent, hiding behind the excuse that attacking Mr. Trump might only help him. They must ask themselves whether they want to be complicit by omission in his poisoning of American political life.
One is resigned when accepting such situations without resistance.
....and you do not say anything about it so you are resigned.
ODO:
resigned ADJECTIVE
Having accepted something unpleasant that one cannot do anything about:
‘my response is a resigned shrug of the shoulders’‘Instead of being outraged, many ranchers seemed resigned.’
I am frankly amazed that nobody has yet pointed out that you are condoning your wife's behaviour.
Negligent
neg·li·gent ˈneɡləjənt/ Google
failing to take proper care in doing something.
"directors have been negligent in the performance of their duties"
You neglected to say anything about her condition, and therefore you feel guilt about it. You are guilty of negligence.
Also, definition from Miriam Webster:
1a : marked by or given to neglect especially habitually or culpably
1b : failing to exercise the care expected of a reasonably prudent person in like circumstances
2 : marked by a carelessly easy manner
The word abide works here.
The most pertinent definitions for abide from Merriam-Webster Online:
1 to bear patiently
2 to accept without objection
In your example, exactly as it is worded:
You are married to your wife and she starts to get fatter....the fatter she gets, the sadder you became ....and you do not say anything about it so you are abiding.
We usually use abide in this way by following it with the behavior/situation being abided (i.e. abide X):
Your wife starts getting fatter and fatter. The fatter she gets, the sadder you become, but you do not say anything--you are abiding her weight gain.
Usage example from biographical information on Robert Frost discussing his father [italics mine]:
Isabelle soon knew another side of Will Frost as a drinker and gambler, traits he had acquired at Harvard. He could be a harsh man to live with, but she abided his habits as a dutiful wife who relied on her own strong religious faith.
The husband in your example is being an enabler, or is enabling his wife:
one that enables another to achieve an end; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior
(link and definition from Merriam-Webster)
Condone is a good verb to use when you intentionally overlook a detail like your wife's voracious eating habits and gain in weight.
Someone who condones can be called a condoner, but the word doesn't appear in all dictionaries. So I am not sure of its usage.
You can put up with the thing, live with it and\or tolerateit.
All of these phrases would imply that you didn't like the thing, but weren't going to try to change\correct it.
