One thing to put into perspective here is that the dirt that is doing the worst damage to your drive train is also going to be the hardest to remove, and most of the gunk you see is not interfering with your bike's functioning unless it is causing pulleys to freeze and links to bind and stop flexing. Specifically the grit that works it's way in between the pins and rollers is the stuff that causes stretch in the chain that wears the teeth of your rings and cogs. It's an "invisible killer" of drive trains. The rest of that gunk that you see clinging to your chain and gears is ugly and messy when you have to do repairs, but probably not effecting how the bike performs very noticeably unless you are Tadej Pogačar, or someone trying to give him a run for his money.

 I have noticed that it is really hard to get that stuff out from in between the pins and rollers. I can clean a chain with de-greaser until it looks like new, but then when I flex it I can feel that grit, trapped between my rollers and pins, grinding away as much as before cleaning. 

So what do I do to clean my chains you ask? OK, maybe you didn't ask, but I will tell you anyway. First, I de grease using an environmentally friendly citrus de greaser, then I run my chains under very warm water in my kitchen sink while flexing each link to flush as much grit out as possible. Then I dry the thing as well as I can, snap it back on the bike, and immediately thoroughly lube each link with Tri-flow, and wipe the excess off. I do this about once a week per bike. If you stick to pavement, unlike me, you can probably get away with two week intervals between cleans. cleaning the rest of my drive train is pretty straight forward, the standard procedure you would expect. I only use Campagnolo cassettes mainly because the individually removable cogs make them easy to thoroughly clean.

If having to do this kind of maintenance on my bike was so nerve racking to me, I would invest in a belt drive system with an internally geared hub on a couple of my bikes to minimize this work. Maybe consider that if its bugging you that bad?

One thing to put into perspective here is that the dirt that is doing the worst damage to your drive train is also going to be the hardest to remove, and most of the gunk you see is not interfering with your bike's functioning unless it is causing pulleys to freeze and links to bind and stop flexing. Specifically the grit that works it's way in between the pins and rollers is the stuff that causes stretch in the chain that wears the teeth of your rings and cogs. It's an "invisible killer" of drive trains. The rest of that gunk that you see clinging to your chain and gears is ugly and messy when you have to do repairs, but probably not effecting how the bike performs very noticeably unless you are Tadej Pogačar, or someone trying to give him a run for his money.

I have noticed that it is really hard to get that stuff out from in between the pins and rollers. I can clean a chain with de-greaser until it looks like new, but then when I flex it I can feel that grit, trapped between my rollers and pins, grinding away as much as before cleaning.

So what do I do to clean my chains you ask? OK, maybe you didn't ask, but I will tell you anyway. First, I de grease using an environmentally friendly citrus de greaser, then I run my chains under very warm water in my kitchen sink while flexing each link to flush as much grit out as possible. Then I dry the thing as well as I can, snap it back on the bike, and immediately thoroughly lube each link with Tri-flow, and wipe the excess off. I do this about once a week per bike. If you stick to pavement, unlike me, you can probably get away with two week intervals between cleans. cleaning the rest of my drive train is pretty straight forward, the standard procedure you would expect. I only use Campagnolo cassettes mainly because the individually removable cogs make them easy to thoroughly clean.

If having to do this kind of maintenance on my bike was so nerve racking to me, I would invest in a belt drive system with an internally geared hub on a couple of my bikes to minimize this work. Maybe consider that if its bugging you that bad?