I tried all the tricks I could find mentioned on the net…
once I launch it [sic] the actual launched Chrome window gets grouped together with the first instance again.
That’s the problem. With older apps, the hacks you mention will work. However, because Chrome has built-in support for Windows 7 jump-lists, as soon as you run it, any of your hacks suddenly go bye-bye.
(I just tried it myself and the manually created shortcut was deleted—without notice!)
Unfortunately it’s a case of un-progress. Your best bet is to file a bug report and “star” this issue that is at the basis of the problem (hbono said they started working on fixing it over two years ago).