DLNA controller
It seems like nobody else is getting the concept here. there isThere are 4 types of DLNA devices that work as 2 sets. TheresThere's the client and server setups where the computer is the server and hosts the file, and xbmcXBMC is the client and can access and play media from the server, but this is not what we don't want. theThe other pair is renderer/controller. xbmcXBMC is a DLNA renderer, and you need controller software on the pc. iI personally have used kinskyKinsky before, its cross platform and does a decent job. but I'm sure theres better. there
There is a full list under "UPnP control points" on this page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_UPnP_AV_media_servers_and_clients#UPnP_control_points_and_player_softwarethis page.